Still here - Confidence boosters 101

As one person commented on my last post, it looked a little bit like I might give up blogging for a while. I wasn't too sure myself as things have just felt so HARD of late. Lets see, the short list... we've had parents struggling with their health (and we are half a world away), we've been trying to buy a house for like EVER, and last year, I finally got pregnant but then miscarried just on the 3 month mark. Gah! Add in the smaller things like accounts, Christmas, a BIG cold, broken boiler, mortgage documents etc and it has felt a bit like we are dodging cricket balls thrown by an bowling machine. Whilst blindfolded. And naked.

The unrelenting nature of "stuff" has meant I haven't feel much like writing blog posts and putting myself out there. Now I'm sort of arising from the ashes, starting to feel like doing MORE. This is a good sign eh?  It has made me think about what one needs to do to get ones confidence up when it feels like it has been trampled into the carpet. This is a topic for everyone, I'm sure. In my current situation it has been life stuff, but sometimes it is work bullies or a bad relationship, and that requires additional armour. At least I could retreat and regroup because I work for myself.

Here is what I noticed has helped so far:

Giving oneself a break - beating yourself up does not help. Some of you, like me, might be familiar with the idea that, if beating oneself doesn't work, then it is clear you need a bigger stick. Yeah, still doesn't work. Much wasted energy, no improvement in mood or situation. It took me until I was about 40 to learn this, and I still do it, though now it is cunning and sly and sneaks around so I don't notice it straight away. It is easy to spot though... listen for the word "should". The stick appears at about the same time.

Being really kind to yourself. Sometimes you need a giggle at the telly (sadly, Friends re-runs still do it for me) and an early night. Sometimes you need that for 46 nights in a row. You can't speed it up, all you can do is let yourself do it.

Friends meets Boardwalk Empire. Image here

Do something you are good at. I felt better when I picked my knitting up. I'm pretty good at it, and am now teaching myself some fancier stitches. Getting into that, especially since it didn't matter how much I did, has helped. It is nice to admire ones handiwork and go - "I did that!"

Do something for someone else. I have a little niece to knit for, and that is neat. Also, being a good listener, smiling at strangers, cooking dinner, doing the dishes. They all count.

Bootie mark 1. Too big. Growing required

Put stuff in order. A bit of clearing out, or filing, or food planning, or even just matching your socks up. It helps you feel like you can make a difference, that you have some power. It is simple, but actually, so is that neuron in your brain that needs reminding that it is capable of doing stuff.

Treat yourself like a dog. Ha ha! That means proper food at the normal time (no matter how much chocolate you've had already). A daily walk, kind words and a game of chase the stick (or something else equally enjoyable).

5 things list. Instead of a never ending to-do list, have a today list, and put just five things on it. Or three things, or just one. And do it. The never ending list can be hidden from view until you are ready for the next thing. Make the thing a one job thing. "Call Kelly" = Yes. "Redesign summer range and choose fabrics and trimmings" = No.

What's your pick up tricks? Do share! These things are really things we should talk about often, don't you think? Far more helpful than moaning about the rain (OMG the RAIN!)

My good news is we are very close to completing on the house. VERY close. I'm not giving out any info until it is done and dusted, but if you could all send some good wishes our way, that would be appreciated. Ahhh... can't wait!

Shona x